i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
i remember once i was walking to class near this group of guys and one of them saw his girlfriend and one of his friends was like “c’mon man bros before hoes” and the guy looked him dead in the eye and said “she’s the bro and y’all bitches are the hoes” before going to talk to his girlfriend and i have never seen a group of guys in sagging jeans and ridiculous shoes look so offended
dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible
FUCKING THANK YOU!!
"i am so done with this year" i say on the first day of class
2014 was one of those years that started out like “THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!!!” and its halfway through and we have a war going on, a deadly disease has been spread, countless shootings have happened, racism is alive, more people have been leaving living things inside of hot cars, and robin williams is fucking dead